today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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