he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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