I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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