Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
