Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
