Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize