I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
