So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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