last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
