Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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