yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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