In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
