If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
