I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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