Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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