life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
