I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
