He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
