Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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