i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Are we still banned from the library?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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