Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
