i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
