i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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