if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
