I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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