NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
