I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
