normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
