Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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