Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
