no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
