so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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