Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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