I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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