he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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