I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
