guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
