Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
