Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
