if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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