Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
