I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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