Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
