so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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