nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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