Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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