I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize