If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
