we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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