its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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