I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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