so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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