No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
