that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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