...so i touched it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
