Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
