Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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