Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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