What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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